3 weeks and a day

Today I went to see my OS. He was very happy with my healing...actually he was so happy that he thought my surgery was 6 weeks ago, when I told him it's only been 3 weeks he could not believe it! I asked him if it's normal that I can feel only half of my face while the left side is still pretty numb; he answered that it is normal and that in 3 months at the most it should go away. He also suggested me to start eating soft food such as fish, pasta,...when he said so I explained to him that I can't feel my teeth, in particular the upper ones so I wouldn't know how to eat and he said hehe! don't worry, just do it and practice it very slow and very careful!

This week I started working. I have to say that it is a nice feeling thinking about things that are not related to the surgery, but I noticed that when I am talking with people I always want to talk about the surgery probably because I want to let everybody know why my face is different and why I have rubber bands and extra hardware on my mouth before seeing their strange and questioning look.

I'll post new pics of me soon.

18 days post op

18 days ago I had the surgery. How am I feeling now? Well, I am feeling better, my right side of the lip and chin is still very numb...it's so frustrating when a member of my family looks at me and says : "Carlotta, wipe your chin!" that usually means I have either foam or food sliding down my chin and I do not realize it! My right cheek is also still numb. My left side feels almost like normal. During the day I feel really good but at night when I go to bed I feel like my face is huge and heavy and this is so uncomfortable that sometimes I need to take pain med. There's something else that usually occurs to me and that is pretty weird: sometimes my lower jaw moves quickly by itself, like a spasm (mmmhhhh..I do not know if I can explain it better than this).
Last Tuesday I went to my OD for a visit and he said that the positioning looks fine. The nurses there are very very kind and they said that with my puffy cheeks I look much younger!
Tomorrow I'll go back to work on a regular basis. I do not know if I feel ready for this main;ly for two reasons: I got tired easily and I do not speak properly yet!
Anyway, I can't wait for Thursday to come when I have the appointment with the OS, I am so curious to hear from him how things are going.

Day 11 post op

Today is day 11 post op. How do I feel? Well, I definitely feel much better day by day, even though I still feel numb in many parts of my face. I think that I look better than I feel, and most of the pain is inside my mouth. I still have that nerve pain and I've found out that the pain comes from a tooth whose nerve must be exposed, and the band is touching that spot. My OS simply told me to take the band off until I do not feel pain anymore, but that would probably mean keep the bands on longer. No way! I try to live with that pain.
Anyway the real problem is FOOOOOOD! I know I can blend everything (I also blended pasta) but it does not taste as good, plus, my family is barbecuing almost every day, everything smells and looks so good! When will I be able to eat normally again? This is really frustrating.
Luckily in the last few days I have been able to spend a lot of time with my beautiful daughter, I try to be super careful but it's so wonderful to play with her, cuddle her and hold her...I only wonder what she thinks when she looks at me and I have this weird, funny, asymmetric smile :)
I'll post some pictures from day 6 to today.

day 6 post op

day 9 post op

day 11 post op

One week

Today is a week from the surgery! I should probably be happier, but I am still in a lot of pain. I went to see the surgeon this morning and he said everything looked fine, and he put bands on me. So now my mouth is definitely straight but the pain increased like hell. I expected more from the visit, but it's clear that he does so many surgeries like mine that I am just one on a million patients for him. Nevertheless, I still like him. I did not mention in my previous blogs that all the hospital team was great with me both on a professional and a personal point of view.
I have one big concern which keeps me from trying to be relaxed and find peace of mind. Sometimes when I swallow the nerve on the left and low side hurts and it also happens when I try to look up. I think it's the nerve because when I got 4 teeth extracted, the doctor told me he would numb my nerve first and when he gave me the shot there I felt this same kind of pain. I know, I should have mentioned to the doctor today, but it was not as much often as now with the bands, and I was so focused on the feeling of my new bands that I completely forgot. I think I'll ask my husband to call him tomorrow and explain to him...I can't stay like this for 2 more weeks, that is when I have my next appointment.
I'll post new pictures soon, at least it's cool now to have a straight bite!

Day 6

It's been a while I have not post anything, but I was hoping to write something like Yay! I feel better now! Well, it's not really like this. From one point of view day 2, day 3, and day 4 were really bad, probably the worst, but from the other point of view, day 5 and day 6 are not much better. The numbness in some points of my face is going away, so I feel more pain inside my mouth, I guess, where I was cut and stitch it back. Yesterday one (or more I have not idea) of the stitches got entangled in one hook, it hurt like crazy. So when I took the strong pain medication I was able to disentangle it. But is still hurts. I am still pretty swollen, even if my mom says that my neck went down a lot.
Oral hygiene: Is it possible that I can't brush my teeth yet, I am always trying but except from the three teeth front up and the three teeth front down I can't brush anything else.
Skin: my skin is very oily, and since I can't feel all of it yet, I do not feel comfortable to exfoliate it.
Nose: my nose is doing much better, yesterday the last big "scab" (I do not know if it's the right English word to use) went off. So now I can breath a little easier than before.
Food: Ouch! This is a disaster! I need to eat a lot because I am still nursing my baby, but It is almost impossible. My mom and I do not know what to blend anymore. We tried all kind of vegetable soup with chicken broth, yesterday she blended also a chicken breast in the soup, and these are for lunch and dinner, in the morning I am drinking the ensure and in the afternoon a very nutritious fruit smoothies with 4 or 5 different kind of fruit, vanilla ice cream and milk. But I still need to eat more.
On Wednesday I have the appointment with my OS: I do not know whether I am happy to see him or not: I would be happy because I am curious to know how I am doing, but I am scared because I do not know what to expect from that visit.
That's pretty much it. Well, I want to thank all of you again, when I feel bad and blue I know that other people went through this same experience and now they are doing well. It's just a matter of time. Time will heal everything. Thank you very much.

PS: I post some pictures but they are day 5 pictures.

day 6 post op

the new me

Today is Day 3 post-op and I definitely feel worse than yesterday, in particular this morning was awful. I feel my lower jaw really heavy, my nose is clogged and it is difficult to swallow. My eyes burn a lot, but I am trying to be strong, patient and happy. My husband took some pictures of me at the hospital. And one yesterday. It's hard to believe but in all of them I was trying to smile. It's so scary: when I look at the mirror I do not recognize myself anymore. Next Wednesday I am going to see my OS, and he should put rubber bands on me. What should I expect? Does it hurt? I can't wait to go back to a normal life.

post-surgery time

Hi everybody, thank you very much for your support and for your positive thoughts. You have been so helpful!
The surgery went really well, at least my OS said so, in fact yesterday they sent me home. The surgery was around 10.00 and by 6pm I was already at home. The last thing I remember before the surgery is a nurse asking if someone could sing in Italian for me, then black out.
When I woke up I had a little bit of nausea but I immediately ask for medications against nausea, I was too much scared of vomiting all that blood that I was swallowing. In fact I did not vomit blood. But I am still bleeding a lot from my nose. Last night I could sleep 5-6 hours total. Not bad at all. Today I probably feel worst than yesterday, but it is a pretty bearable pain. I am trying to drink a lot (water, juices, milk,...) but that's about it. I know that the real pain should be tomorrow and the day after tomorrow, so I ma hanging in there waiting for those bad days to come.
As soon as I feel better, I'll post some pictures of the post surgery.
Thanks again for being so supportive

my pics the night before surgery

Still few hours before the surgery

I've just received all the information about tomorrow: I have to be at the hospital uled at 7.15 am, and the surgery is scheduled at 9.00 am. OMG I am so scared, plus I've found out that my husband cannot stay there overnight with me..sigh! I am not able to express my feelings today, it's everything so strange. When my husband is back from work, I'll ask him to take some picture of me so I can post it and then see the difference during th healing process.

Limbo

Yes, that's it, that is exactly how I feel now: I feel like "in a limbo".
Definitions of limbo (from Wikipedia).
1) Religious definition: In Roman Catholic theology, Limbo (Latin limbus, edge or boundary, referring to the "edge" of Hell) is a hypothetical afterlife condition of those who die in original sin without being assigned to the Hell of the damned (gehenna).

2)limbo in pop culture: The band Radiohead have a song titled In Limbo on their 2000 album Kid A. In The Matrix Revolutions, the main character, Neo, finds himself in a state of limbo in the form of a subway station named "Mobil Avenue" that is between the Matrix and the Source. "Mobil" is an anagram of "limbo.

3)Limbo as a colloquialism: Differing slightly from the original meaning, in colloquial speech, "limbo" is any status where a person or project is held up, and nothing can be done until another action happens.

Yes, that's how I feel! I feel like I am suspended in a status where from one hand I do not want the time to pass because I am too scared, from the other I can't wait to get over it and move on because most part of my thoughts turns around the surgery, how it is going to be, how bad is the post surgery, how is the healing process...and so on...AAAAHHHHH this is driving me crazyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!

THANK YOU!!!!!

Thank you very much for your help guys! I am so happy I've found your blogs, it's nice sharing the same experience with other people.
THANK YOU

Insurance company: approved

Yay! Yesterday I received the approval for the coverage from my insurance company!!! I am pretty new to this health system, I come from Italy where the health system is public: that means you do not need any approval and you do not pay for surgeries. So I was scared when I received the first letter from the insurance company saying that they needed documents to prove the necessity of this surgery. What???????????I started calling all my "ortho.... team" and lickily they took care of everything and yesterday the good news!!!!!!! I am still writing down a wish list of stuff I might need in the hospital and post surgery. It's difficult to find time with a 6 months old baby ;)